Reflections from Gafcon IV – part 2

This is almost a year later – life, work, exams and daily and weekly routines took over for a while… So now, as I write this, the first assembly of GSFA (Global South Fellowship of Anglicans) is about to start in Cairo. We need to be praying most ardently for this…. Lord you promise to build your Church and that the gates of Hell will not prevail against it. Lord thank you for all those who will be at GSFA – that each of them are called by name for such a time as this. Lord I am praying for your presence, protection, preservation, guidance and precious unity. Please Lord pour out your Holy Spirit – bring refreshment and vision and purpose – that your Kingdom would come and your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. In Jesus name Amen.

Reflections can be close up – or from a distance – this one is now at a year’s distance…

Apart from the extraordinary privilege of being able to go to Gafcon IV, and the sheer gratefulness and excitement I felt at being back in Africa after so many years, the overriding thing that has stayed with me from last April, is what a wonderful and extraordinary blessing it is to be a part of the worldwide body of Christ and to have such amazing and inspiring brothers and sisters all around the world. It was the hugest privilege to meet bishops, clergy and lay people from parts of the world where they genuinely face the prospect and possibility of death for the sake of Christ on a daily basis. In our Wednesday prayer group, we have been praying for our brothers and sisters in Nigeria, particularly those in central and north Nigeria, where Christians are targeted by Islamic militants – it was a great honour to meet and speak to some of those priests who live and minister in these areas. We have prayed for some of our brothers at the Holy Cross Theological seminary in Myanmar – seeing those for whom we have prayed and hearing how the Lord has answered prayers was such a blessing.

There was one talk in particular that I found very helpful – ‘Renewing the Power to Love: The Heart of Historic Anglicanism’ by Rev Canon Dr John Ashley Null…. Summarised from what I can read of my notes, as follows…

  • In times of lawlessness, the church faces a triple temptation:
    • To preach law without the Gospel
    • Christian leaders fight over who has the best solution to prevent darkness (it is easier to agree on the problem than how to fix it)
    • Christians are tempted to see sins of others but not our own.
  • Human nature is ruled by whatever rules the human heart – on its own it naturally loves self… The heart often rules the mind.
    • The only way out of the closed circle of sin and selfishness is to discover a love for God rather than the love of self. There is a relationship between love and forgiveness – Luke 7:47 ‘he who is forgiven little, loves little’.
    • The power of love can change us, even as it completes us.
  • The enemy in wanting to separate us from the Lord, tries to make us doubt that God really loves us – so we are left, either hidden in shame, or trying to earn God’s favour….. Helpful to recognise some of the strategies the enemy employs…
    • Step 1 – Genesis 3 – the serpent tries to concentrate on what we don’t have. Overstates the restriction God has put on humanity. The serpent now manages to switch Eve’s focus from all the good things God has given, to the one thing God withheld. The enemy tries to get us to focus on the negatives in life: what you don’t have, the difficulties etc.. Tries to get you feeling that you are missing out – the seed of a negative attitude.
    • Step 2 – Make you think God doesn’t love you – make God look unfair for not giving you what you want. The serpent wanted Eve to feel cheated – point at the pruning that God promises in John 15:2 – but says that if God really loved you, he would give you a better deal.
    • Step 3 – Undermines self esteem for who you are now – compares you to others. No matter how many good and wonderful things in your life, God has something you don’t have, eg why hasn’t God given you that ministry, or those funds? So you ask ‘what’s wrong with me that I don’t have what they have?’ And you conclude either God has cheated us or we are not good enough for Him… But either way we end up saying ‘prove you deserve/prove you are good enough’. The enemy is always pointing out the strength of others, and that you are not good enough. And without confidence in God’s unconditional love for us, its hard not to agree.
    • Step 4 – Work for self worth – its now up to us to find a way to feel good about ourselves… The most depressing day of an Olympic gold medallist’s life is the day after winning the gold medal, when they realise that they are not good enough. The enemy says: if we do ‘x’ we won’t need to depend on anyone and not risk being hurt again.
    • Step 5 – The lie that success brings lasting satisfaction. Without God’s unconditional love, Adam and Eve discovered what it was really like to be naked. They had no ability to fend off the enemy’s attacks, so they tried to cover up their emptiness and separation from God.
    • Step 6 – The enemy makes us his slave. When you base your worth on your performance, you become a slave to always having to perform.
  • Horses shouldn’t push carts – but in Christianity we get it wrong so often…
    • Does God initiate and we respond? Or do we initiate and God responds?
    • Do our actions earn God’s blessing? Or are our actions the fruit of God’s work in us?
    • Do we long for God to lead us? Or do we expect God will get behind us and push?
    • Is repentance the basis on which God accepts us? Or is it the inevitable base of knowing we are accepted?
  • Archbishop Cranmer’s thinking on these questions…
    • For the medieval church, repentance is what sinners did to get right with God – flagellation and punishment ‘penitence’ – voluntary self punishment was required by God as a sacrifice for sin.. But where does the love of God come from?
    • What is the bait of sin? Feeling good… Sin becomes more alluring when we feel bad, because we want to feel good.
    • But only LOVE produces LOVE; fear, condemnation and shame don’t produce love.
    • Cranmer put into our communion service ‘the comfortable words’: “come unto me all who travail and are heavily laden, and I will refresh you” (starting with felt human need) and then “Almighty and merciful Father, we have erred and strayed from your ways like lost sheep… and there is no health in us” – we long to be rescued from the misery we experience in the strain and fight of human existence.
    • The glory of God is to love the unworthy and to relieve the burdens we bear even when we don’t understand why we bear them.
    • Human’s are longing to be rescued. The Divine is longing to rescue… what does this look like from a human point of view?
      • Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners.
    • And from God’s point of view?
      • He is the propitiation for our sins. God’s justice requires propitiation – God loves the world and wants to redeem it… The cross was a full, perfect and sufficient sacrifice and propitiation for the sins of the whole world.
    • He is now our Advocate – Jesus is our defence lawyer, not our judge… The Cross is the only possible defence on our behalf.
    • Without renewing the heart, there is the snare of legalism, eg we may first come into God’s presence by God’s free gift, but we stay there by our own efforts, and consequently in our hearts we love ourselves when we think we are being good. Legalism is so persuasive because it lies so close to the truth: blessing accompanies obedience, disobedience brings about discipline.
    • But love cannot be earned, if it is earned, its not love. Our power to do right is God himself graciously working in us. In the end, holiness is ever increasing dependence on God’s power to change us… You have promised to complete the work you began in me – thank you Lord. ‘No health in us’ – we have no capacity to stay free on our own.
  • Conservative answer to sin is to try to shame people into righteousness.. But shame doesn’t do that.. The acceptance of sin also doesn’t lead people to God… Only God’s love for sinners inspires sinners to love God more than sin.

AMEN

Pentecost Talk 2023

Pentecost Introduction    This weekend is Pentecost – it is the time when we celebrate the birth of the church and outpouring of the Holy Spirit, that we can read about in Acts 2. When, with a sound like the blowing of a violent wind, tongues of fire came to rest on all the believers and they were filled with the Holy Spirit. Filled with joy, filled with power to witness, to do miracles in Jesus’ name, to live and die courageously, turning the world upside down. 

I was brought up in a Christian home – my father was an Anglican vicar.  Aged 12, I had a sudden realisation that I was fundamentally selfish – even the good things I did were to make me feel better about myself.  So I started looking for God. I thought that if I went to church, and read the bible and prayed every day then God would like me. Although these are good things, this was all in my own effort – a way of me trying to earn God’s favour – a bit like doing 50 sit-ups to get a flat tummy.

By the time I was 18, without understanding much of it, I had read the bible 3 times cover to cover.  But all these efforts had not quenched my thirst… I was quite self-righteous and thought I was a good person, but I was bored – and thought ‘if this is Christianity, there has got to be more to life’.  So, I started a quiet rebellion… I didn’t get very far – but it was far enough to show me that I wasn’t perfect.

May 1983 – 40 years ago – there was a compulsory concert at school with some girls from a school in Uganda. I didn’t want to go to this – but had no choice and sat initially with my arms folded!  However, within a few minutes, I was gripped by these girls – as they sang praise songs, their faces shone with a joy and peace greater than I had ever seen – whatever it was they had – I wanted!  

The following day they came to the school Christian group I was helping to lead and as they left, they asked ‘Do you have the Holy Spirit?’ We didn’t know what they were talking about, so they said they would pray for the Holy Spirit to come to us.

Two weeks later, on Pentecost Sunday (22nd May 1983), a boy from the other school in town came to speak at our school Christian group. He had grown up an atheist but had recently become a Christian.  He spoke about Pentecost, how the Holy Spirit transformed Jesus’ disciples from a frightened group of men who fled when Jesus was arrested, into those who spoke boldly, performed miracles in Jesus’ name, and were not afraid to suffer and die for the sake of the Gospel. 

I was gripped by what I heard, but more than that, I saw that this boy had an authority, a peace and a joy about him like I’d seen in the Ugandan girls.  And it was deeply attractive.  So later that day, I went to find him and said – ‘whatever it is you have got, I want’. He answered: ‘Jane – you have got to face the fact that you are a sinner.’  I was really surprised to hear this as I thought I was quite a good person – but I so desperately wanted what he had, that I followed him in a prayer, asking Jesus to forgive me and come and be Lord of my life and fill me with his Holy Spirit. 

I didn’t feel anything particular at that time, but over the next few days, I became thirstier and thirstier and more and more desperate for God to meet me.  Then on the Thursday (26th May 1983) – 40 years ago last night – I was on my own in the boy’s school chapel for Holy Communion – and suddenly I had a tangible sense of being washed completely clean. It was an amazing sensation – in that moment something changed in my heart: I knew that I was loved by God and that Jesus had died for ME.  Over the next days, something extraordinary happened in my bible reading. The book that I had found incomprehensible but had waded through 3 times suddenly came alive. It was so exciting – it felt like it had been written just for me.  I would be in the library, meant to be revising for my A Levels, but I had a copy of the New Testament on my lap and I couldn’t stop reading it. 

And it wasn’t just me – lots of girls and boys at our 2 schools became Christians.

That was 40 years ago – in the last few weeks I have been in touch with many of the boys and girls from that time – they are still walking with the Lord…

What have I learned in those last 40 years?

Many things! But there are 3 things that I want to talk about today…

God is the One who rescues; He is the One who truly satisfies and He doesn’t leave His people alone.

  1. God is the One who rescues…

In the OT we read how God’s people the Israelites were slaves in Egypt… they knew that they needed rescue – so, in great distress they called out to God, and he sent them a deliverer – Moses – who went to Pharoah and delivered the message ‘God says Let my people go’. Pharaoh kept refusing, so God sent 10 plagues. 

Just before the 10th plague, God told the Israelites to get ready to leave Egypt as He was going to ‘pass over’ the land and kill all the firstborn sons of the Egyptians – both men and animals. In order that they could be saved, God told the Israelites that each household should take a flawless lamb, kill it and put some of the blood on the door frames of their houses. And when God passed over the land and saw the blood, he would not allow any harm to come to them.

  • So the Israelites escaped Egypt that night, saved by the blood of a lamb.   

And God looked after them for the 40 years that they wandered in the desert: he fed them with ‘manna’ which was a bread like substance which they found on the ground every morning except for on the sabbath; he gave them water from the rocks, and their feet didn’t swell nor did their clothes wear out. (Deut 8:2-5) … And He led and guided them with a pillar of cloud by day, which looked like fire at night – whenever the cloud moved, the people moved, when the cloud stayed, the people stayed, and so God guided his people.

  • God is the God who rescues… We see this right through the Bible, He rescued the Israelites from bitter slavery; He rescued His people in times of war, famine and distress – down the ages His people have called out to him and testified to His rescue…

There will always be times of suffering in this life – sometimes it is clear to see that God has physically rescued – at other times, if we are honest, it doesn’t look that way… 

But even then, God is the God who rescues. Because the point is: God’s Rescue is a Rescue for Eternity.  

Sometimes it’s obvious when we need to be rescued:  if you’ve been kidnapped, or your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, or you are caught in a natural disaster.

But sometimes it’s less obvious: we don’t actually realise we needed to be rescued until after it happens

A few years ago, when our children were small, we were hiking in the Swiss Alps.  Although it was summer – it was cold and misty. We’d had long walk up through snow, to a mountain hut at 2100m, and then a good cheese fondue. When it was time to go back, we realised that our younger children were too tired to walk. So, we decided that my husband and oldest son would run back down the mountain and get the car to fetch us. Because it was getting late, they decided to run straight down the mountain, rather than follow the winding road. All seemed to be going well, until suddenly an old woman with a rucksack appeared out of the mist and told them to stop – they were running towards a cliff edge – and she pointed them into a different direction.  They followed her directions and got to the car. 

We have no idea who the woman was, but the point was that had she not stopped them – they might have fallen over a cliff edge…   It was only after the rescue that they realised how lucky they had been.

That’s a bit like us – running through this life. We think everything is fine but don’t realise we are running towards a cliff edge.

We don’t realise we need to be rescue – but actually we all do…

Have you ever wondered why Jesus is called the Lamb of God?
  • Partly it refers back to the Exodus (when the Israelites were rescued out of slavery) and to the lamb’s blood on the doorframes which gave the Israelites their life and freedom.
    • But more importantly it refers to Old Testament sacrificial system

After Moses led the people out of Egypt, God gave them the 10 commandments so they could try to live rightly.  

  • Have you tried to keep the 10 commandments? For years I thought that was the way to God, and I tried really hard..  I still try hard – but the reality is, I can’t do it.  I can’t even keep the 1st commandment – No matter how hard I try – I still tend to put myself first.  And then if I think about how Jesus spoke about the 10 commandments in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5) saying that if we have an angry thought, that’s like murder, or look at someone lustfully, that’s like adultery…  Well there’s no way!

God is Holy – however hard we try, we cannot make ourselves holy…

This unholiness (which is what the Bible calls sin) is a barrier – it stops us getting close to the Holy God – and if something is not done about it – it leads to eternal death.

But God is the One who rescues – and so in the Old Testament, to enable unholy people to live, and have a relationship with the Holy God, God gave them the sacrificial system. 

If you read the OT, you will notice that there are a lot of dead animals and a lot of blood… It was this blood that enabled the people to be in right relationship with God..

  • In the OT God lived amongst his people in an inner area called the Holy of Holies. The Holy of Holies was separated from the Holy Place and the rest of the outer space by a large, 10-metre high, curtain, as thick as the span of a man’s hand and made from a single piece of fabric. This curtain was a barrier stopping people from accidentally going into God’s presence – because if they did, they would die (Lev 16:1).  Only once a year was anyone allowed into the Holy of Holies, and that was the High Priest on the Day of Atonement (Lev 16), after bathing, animal sacrifices and a lot of blood. On this day, atonement was made between the people and God for the coming year.    

The bible tells us that “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness”.  (Hebrews 9:20) and yet it also tells us that “it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sin” (Heb 10:4).

So why all this blood?

The animal blood was powerless in itself. The reason that it was effective was because it pointed towards the blood of Jesus, and Jesus’ once and for all, final sacrifice on the cross, for us and in our place.

The Bible tells us that when Jesus died, he didn’t enter a manmade Holy of Holies, like the Israelite High Priests had done, but he entered the eternal Holy of Holies, heaven itself, once and for all and by His own blood (Heb 9:11-12). Jesus himself appeared for us in God’s presence (Heb 9:24). Because of this “we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once and for all.” (Heb 10:10).  

Jesus has done everything needed to rescue us – so that we can have a relationship with God and live eternally with him.

  • If we are in any doubt of this – the Bible tells us how this was physically demonstrated at the moment of Jesus’ death. You remember that 10-metre high, hand-span wide curtain which separated the Holy of Holies from the rest of the space?  Mark’s Gospel (Mark 15:37-38) tells us how, when Jesus died, this curtain “was torn in two from top to bottom.” It was ripped in half from the top downwards.
  Do you need to be rescued?   Come to Jesus – He is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world (John 1:29). Through Jesus perfect sacrifice for us on the Cross, we can have access to God at any time and be rescued us from darkness, death and destruction.   
  • God is the One who Truly Satisfies…

To be thirsty and to need water is part of what it means to be alive.  Whether a plant, an insect, a dog or a human, we all need water (H2O) to survive. Without water crops fail, without water our bodies fail… – Whereas a person can survive a month without food, we cannot survive more than 3 days without water.   

Being thirsty is the way that our bodies tell us we need water.

We have a very energetic dog – when he is out and about, he runs and jumps everywhere, and so he gets thirsty.  As far as he is concerned, it doesn’t really matter what kind of water it is, if he is thirsty, he will drink itI mind a bit more – whilst I’m happy for him to drink from rainwater puddles or streams – I’m not very happy when he drinks from a green, smelly stagnant pond – or if we are at the sea, he tries to quench his thirst with salty seawater.  I want him stay physically well and so I want him to have good fresh water.

The Bible talks about a different kind of thirst and a different kind of water – it talks about a “Living Water”.

In John 4, Jesus is thirsty and at a well in Samaria. He asks a Samaritan woman to give him a drink.  And then says to her: “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” Then referring to the water from the well, he says: “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”  (John 4:10 &13-14)

The water that Jesus is talking of here, is not physical water (H2O), that we need for Physical Life, but spiritual water, Living Water that satisfies us in our deep places and leads to Eternal Life.

And the thirst that Jesus is speaking of here is not the physical thirst for water, or Fanta or Sprite, but it’s the thirst for something deeper – something that fulfils and satisfies and completes us.

  • And the woman at the well was not somebody who you would think would deserve this offer… She was a ‘loose woman’ – she had been married 5 times, and was now living with someone else, and probably the reason why she’d come out at the 6th hour, in the heat of the midday sun, was to avoid all the people who didn’t like her…
  • We all of us get thirsty, we long for fulfilment and satisfaction – and often we look to all sorts of things to try and satisfy this deep thirst – some of these things are good and some aren’t so good – but at the end of the day it is only God who truly and deeply satisfies. 

The woman had done nothing to deserve this Living Water – But Jesus offers it to her for free…  

A bit later, in John 7 we read how Jesus went to Jerusalem, halfway through the Feast of Tabernacles.

  • The Feast of Tabernacles was a festival (Lev 23:42-43) when the people remembered God’s protection and provision when he brought them out of Egypt. And they thanked God for giving them water in the last year and prayed for water in the coming year.
  • On the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles, the High Priest led a procession to the Pool of Siloam (where Jesus had healed a man born blind) and filled a jug with water from the Pool. Then went back to the Temple and poured the water out from the door of the Temple down the steps.  And a passage from Ezekiel 47 was read out…

This is an amazing passage in which the prophet Ezekiel describes a vision of what happens when the Holy Spirit comes…  He describes a river flowing eastwards from the south side of the temple which gets deeper and deeper: first it’s ankle deep, then knee deep, then waist deep and then so deep that you have to just jump in and swim, and wherever it goes there is a proliferation of life … Where it flows into the Dead Sea, the heavy salt waters become fresh, and fish swim… and along the banks, fruit trees grow, bearing fruit every month, the fruit for food and the leaves for healing….

It was against this backdrop (of the water being poured out and Ezekiel’s vision being read), that John’s Gospel tells us (John 7:37-39), how Jesus stood and said in a loud voice:   ‘“If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” John adds ‘By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified.’’  

Jesus says that if we come to Him, He will give us this Living Water – He will give us His Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is the One who satisfies deeply…  And when The Holy Spirit is poured out …  wherever He goes, things are restored and healed; what was dead comes to life, and there is abundance of life. 

  Are you thirsty?     Come to Jesus and ask for His Holy Spirit – who will become like a spring of life-giving water welling up to eternal life…    
  • God doesn’t leave His people alone…

At some point in life, we will all have to face times of abandonment: either intentional, when someone we love and trusted walks out on us; or unintentional, when someone we love dies….

I heard a man speak a few weeks ago: he came from a fanatical Muslim family but became a Christian as a boy, when he saw someone who was so badly injured that he was thought to be dead, prayed for in the name of Jesus and be instantly healed.  When the boy told his parents that he had become a Christian they said they never wanted to see him again. They kicked him out of the house and held a funeral for him, leaving a grave with his name on. 

That’s quite hard to imagine – a young boy abandoned like that… The man said that for the next few months, when no-one was around, he used to go and stand by that grave – feeling so sad…  But then one day, he was standing alone next to the grave, when he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard the words – ‘The grave you are standing next to is empty – Jesus’ grave was also empty’.  In that moment he knew that although he had been abandoned by his earthly family, he would never be alone.       

God promises that He will never abandon us… He will never leave His people alone.  

On the night before Jesus was crucified, He had Supper with His friends and prepared them for what was coming up. By this time, the disciples had had the incarnate God living amongst them, in the person of Jesus, 24-7, for the last 3 years. They had travelled with him, eaten with him, seen his miracles and heard His teaching – they had left everything to follow Him. But now He was talking about dying and leaving them…  They must have been feeling confused and really distressed.  

  • But Jesus spoke to them and told them that although He was going, they were not going to be abandoned. They would actually be better off – because the Holy Spirit: the Counsellor, Comforter, Helper, Giver of Life and Spirit of Truth, would come to them, and would live with them and in them for ever.  

Jesus said “I will ask the Father and he will give you another Counsellor (Parakleton) to be with you forever – the Spirit (Pneuma) of truth … you know him for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (John 14:16-18).   

In the OT, God had lived among His people in the Holy of Holies.  In the incarnation, the Holy God had lived among the people in the person of Jesus Christ (fully God and fully man). Now with the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, the Holy God is going to come and live inside His people for ever.   The Holy Spirit is the one who brings us into relationship with God, who reminds us that we are loved and not orphans – who fills us with life, with joy, with power and with Healing.    This means that although we can be physically isolated, or spurned by loved ones, we need never to be alone.   

This weekend is Pentecost. It is the time when we celebrate the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in Acts 2, when all the believers were gathered together praying, and suddenly there was a sound like the blowing of a violent wind and tongues of fire came to rest on them all. They were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Holy Spirit enabled them – in 15 different recognizable languages – declaring the wonders of God.   From this day, the believers, filled with the Holy Spirit, filled with joy, power to witness and do miracles in Jesus’ name, turned the world upside down. 

NOW

Because of what Jesus has done for us, we can come to him and pray with full assurance for forgiveness and to be rescued out of darkness into light, out of death into life.   And we can ask Him to fill us with His Holy Spirit… for the Holy Spirit of the Living God to live in us and make His home with us – and to keep filling us.        

Jesus said:  “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.”  

Reflections from Gafcon IV – part 1

Surrounded by brothers and sisters from 53 countries, worshipping the Lord with all our hearts and being fed deeply from His word – it is hard to know where to begin…

But I will start on a really personal note…

I am a vicar’s daughter and can’t remember a time when I didn’t believe in God. Aged 12, I suddenly had a moment of clarity where I realised that I was selfish; everything I did, even the good things, had a selfish motivation. That was enough to start me looking for God… I thought the way to do it was to read my Bible every day and pray and go to church – all good things – but in my case really this was works-based ritual: 50 sit-ups, bible reading, prayer and bed – and God would be happy enough with me…

By the time I was 18 I had read the Bible 3 times cover to cover – although I hadn’t really understood it.. But then I had another moment of clear thought: “If this is Christianity, there has to be more to life”. So I started a quite rebellion – undercover rebellion – I still running the school Christian group – but it was enough for me to realise that I wasn’t perfect…

First Saturday of the summer term, there was a compulsory concert in Sherborne Abbey. Our school had a link with Gayaza High School in Uganda and some of the girls were over on a singing tour. I didn’t want to go, but went with arms folded… I was blown away by it – far from being the stuffy concert I had anticipated, these girls were singing wonderful praise songs to God – but their faces were what struck me – they had a joy and a radiance about them which I had not seen before – and it was deeply attractive.

The following day they came to our Christian group and as they left they said: “Do you have the Holy Spirit here?” – “What’s that?” we answered, “We’ve heard of the Holy Ghost, but never heard of the Holy Spirit”. So the girls said: “We’ll pray you get the Holy Spirit”.

Two weeks later, Pentecost Sunday, one of the boys from the Boys School came to speak – he spoke about how the disciples, who had run away and deserted Jesus, were transformed when the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost – after that they were not afraid to live and die for the name of Jesus. I was gripped by his words, but even more by his face – he had the same joy and radiance as the Ugandan Girls had had. So that afternoon, a friend and I went to find him: “Whatever it is you’ve got, we want”! The surprising response back was: “Just face it Jane, you are a sinner”. I had not expected that – but he explained that Jesus had died for me and that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t earn my way to God. So he led me in a prayer of confession and asking Jesus to be Lord of my life and then he left me with the words – and ask God to fill you with His Holy Spirit.

Over the next few days, I became hungrier and hungrier for God – I was becoming desperate for him… Then on the Thursday, whilst kneeling quietly in the Boys’ School chapel at the weekly Communion service, I had a tangible sense of being washed completely clean – it was like I had been given a deeply cleansing and deluging shower of water. In that moment, I knew that Jesus had died for me, that He loved me and had rescued me and wouldn’t leave me alone… I fell in love with Him – the Bible suddenly became alive – it was like it had been written just for me… And it wasn’t just me – we had a mini revival in which many boys and girls came to faith in Jesus.

For years I have wanted to tell someone somehow in Uganda and get a thank you message to the girls from Gayaza. I had looked on their school website and also the Church of Uganda website but I couldn’t see how to do it. So when I heard that about 200 delegates from Uganda were coming to Gafcon IV, I was really excited and prayed that if it was possible, please could I meet someone to get a message through.

So on the very first lunchtime, I picked up my packed lunchbox and was wandering around, asking the Lord to show me where to sit – 1302 delegates – spread all around the grounds and premises of the Kigali Convention Centre. I saw a lady that I recognised sitting with someone else and went to join. We chatted about various topics, and then seeing that one was from Uganda, I asked if by any chance she knew of anyone who had been at Gayaza High School 40 years ago… “Yes” she replied – she had been. So I asked if by any chance she had been in the singing group that sang at Sherborne Abbey – “Yes” … And had she come to our Christian group and asked us about the Holy Spirit? “Yes” – she had… .! This for me was such a demonstration of the goodness and faithfulness of God… 40 years later – he allows me to meet one of the girls who had such an impact on my Christian life… So we have exchanged details and I look forward to renewed friendship and fellowship…

I will sing of the Goodness of God….

In the Shadow of Your Wings

Psalm 57:1 “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until disaster has passed.” Psalm 63:7 “Because you are my help, I will sing in the shadow of your wings.”

I will sing of the Faithfulness, the Goodness and the Mercy of God.